After you...

It's a funny thing when a book published in the 1980s has a lasting impact on the way you live and work. Especially when the idea is so very simple, and it's application so easy to do. For me this is definitely the case.

I am referring to the practice of understanding before you are understood, or to put it another way diagnosing before you prescribe. The book I'm sure will be known to many of you as Covey's Seven habits of highly effective people.

Perhaps there are many good insights in this book, but I have for years found this advise 'to let the other person have their say first' exceptionally helpful. After all who would value a doctor that writes out your prescription before asking you what was wrong?

Understanding before you are understood works in almost every single situation you can imagine. I can't think of a time when I have not benefited from leading the other contributor to have their say first.
Immediately you are put in a position of strength, able to reflect and select your reply in the light of the others position. Able to answer more specifically the need of the other person, able to think for a few seconds more about the response that you make.

Whether this is a new idea to you or just one that you'd forgotten about, give it a chance today. Make the simplest of all behavioural changes and let them go first.
Bob.
Bob Bannister